yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
