just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
