She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
