the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
