she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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