I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Its about making memories worth repressing
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
