matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
