at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
