my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
