My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
How does it feel to date your dad?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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