Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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