Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
