is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
