My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
