so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
