she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I think I am morally bankrupt
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
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