drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
