I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
