Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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