I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
