I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize