wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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