Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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