It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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