Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
