They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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