i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Randomize
