It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
