I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
