Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize