He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
