a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
