just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
