the new term for farting is butt boxing.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
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