You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Found your dick twin last night
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
