She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just gargled with NyQuil
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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