Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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