You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
