I skipped work to stalk him.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
