Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
