last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
