if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
