I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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