You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
