Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
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