I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
