if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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