I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
