you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
