he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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