never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
