I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
