i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
