remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
