just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Alive.
So much puke
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
