It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Alive.
So much puke
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
