Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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