so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I still have a little drunk in my system
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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