was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
