he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
